"So what do you do?" is the wrong question

The question is a sorting machine

On paper it's just curiosity. In practice it's a way of placing you. Job title tells them roughly what you earn, roughly what you studied, roughly how seriously to take whatever you say next.

If you have a decent answer, the conversation keeps going. If you say you're between things, or looking, or looking after someone, you can watch the other person reach for the next topic like it's a railing.

Nobody decided this on purpose. We just built a world where the job is the person, and then forgot it was a choice.

Work used to be one thing about you

For most of history people were known by a lot of stuff. Whose kid they were, where they lived, what they were good at, who they helped, what they were like at a table. Work was in there, but it wasn't the headline.

Somewhere along the way the headline got swapped. Now the job title goes first and everything else is a footnote. Your hobbies are what you do when you're not doing the real thing. Your caregiving is a gap. Your curiosity is a lack of focus.

It's a strange way to describe a human being. Like introducing a song by its royalty rate.

Credentials turned into small talk

A lot of people answer the question with a list of paper. I'm finishing my masters. I just got certified. I'm doing a course on the side. Training becomes something you say out loud so the silence doesn't happen.

I get it. I've done it. But notice what that means. People are signing up for more school and more courses partly to have something to say at parties. That's not education, that's a costume with tuition.

Less training as social armour would honestly be a relief for a lot of us.

There aren't enough good answers to go around

Here's the numbers part nobody brings up at the party. The economy keeps getting more done with fewer people. Software, machines, one person covering what three used to. That's not a moral failure, it's what productivity means.

So there will always be a big group of people without an impressive answer, and that group isn't shrinking just because everyone tries harder. Surplus labour is a feature of a productive economy, not a pile of lazy individuals.

Treating the question like a personal exam ignores that the exam has fewer passing grades every year.

What a floor would change

This is where UBI, or neetbux, or whatever we end up calling it, actually matters to me. Not as a cheque, as a change in the question.

If everyone had a basic floor, not having a job wouldn't mean not having a life. You could say I'm not working right now and it would land like I'm not on social media right now. A bit unusual. Not a confession.

People could pick work because it suits them, not because it's the only acceptable sentence to say at a barbecue. And the people who do love their jobs would still get to talk about them. Nobody loses anything except the shame.

Better questions exist

What are you into lately. What's been good this week. Who do you spend your time with. What are you reading, playing, fixing, cooking. What would you do with a free Tuesday.

These get you a real person instead of a LinkedIn summary. They also don't make anyone feel like they failed an interview they didn't apply for.

Try one next time. Watch how much more interesting people get when they're not reciting their employer.

Meanwhile

If you're the one who dreads the question, you're allowed to answer with something true. I read a lot. I look after my mum. I've been learning to make bread. I'm figuring it out. All real answers. And if you want a little trickle coming in while you figure it out, the AI you already pay for can claim paid micro-tasks for sats on neetbros.

You are not your job title. You were never supposed to be.